Things I've learned since becoming a parent

1- One month old babies can sleep anywhere, five month old babies cannot.

2- You can never take too many pictures.

3- Even if your daughter has ridiculously long eyelashes and is dressed in a pink furry coat, strangers may still ask if she is a boy.

4- Sometimes, babies can sleep through a Sponge-Bob alarm clock.

5- No matter how bland you think rice cereal might taste, the first time baby eats it, she'll look like you would after biting into a lemon. Take pictures.

6- If your husband loses his phone and baby is asleep, don't call his phone. It may be sitting in the crib right next to her.

7- If you walk into your baby's room during nap time and she is wide awake, staring at the wall, it doesn't make you a bad mom; it only means you have a very sweet child.

8- A baby's size is in no way proportionate to the amount of laundry they produce.

9- Diaper costs only get out of hand if you don't plan ahead or buy in bulk.

10- Diaper bags work like Murphy's Law; the one thing you don't pack will be the only thing you need desperately.

11- Time goes by faster than you may have imagined.

12- As dumb as the name is, a Boppy can be your best friend.

13- Clothing sizes are subjective.

14- Even if baby sleeps through the night early on, it doesn't mean you will sleep well.

15- Sometimes it is smart to bring a change of clothes for yourself.

16- For the first two months of your child's life, don't plan on being anywhere on time.

17- Your own child's poop won't gross you out as much as you'd expect.

18- A baby's first smile is breathtaking.

19- Write everything down; you can forget things very quickly.

20- Babies don't need many toys; burp cloths work just fine.

21- There is no such thing as too many burp cloths... Or blankets.

22- Every baby is different. Every parent is different. What works for one baby might not work for another.